November 14, 2007

Manhattan Doll
Volume 1, Issue 4

Commuting Curmudgeon
Scene: A crowded 6^th train. A woman pushes her way into the car and into me as if I don’t have any body mass. When I protest her actions, she says, “There’s no need to be rude. All you have to do is move.” I give her “the look” and respond, “I’m always rude to inconsiderate people!”

Good Advice
Inspiration exists, but it has to find us working.--Pablo Picasso

The best way to get something done is to begin.--Source Unknown

Did You Know?
The most unsanitary part of your computer is your mouse pad! When was the last time you bought a new one? Something to think about.

Favorite Consignment Shops
Several years ago I worked with a personal shopper who introduced me to the most incredible consignment shops in the city. I’ve bought Armani suits for $125, a brand new Gucci bag for $100, and beautiful cashmere sweaters for $50! Check out my faves: Encore (Madison Avenue, between 84th and 85th Streets) and Designer Resale (81st Street , between 1st and 2nd Avenues).

From the OfficeLife.com
Delagatorship (n.): A business entity run by someone incapable of decision-making.

Enail (n.): An email sent for the sole purpose of making a point in writing, usually atanother person's expense. Most effective when cc'ed to as many senior people as possible.

Just Desserts
If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose? Pick your favorite and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.

Here are your choices:
1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate on Chocolate
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE: Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES: You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE: Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends..

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING: Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE: Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM: You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Remember, “courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”

November 7, 2007

Manhattan Doll
Volume 1, Issue 3

The Commuting Curmudgeon

There I was on a crowded Madison Avenue bus, reading a book and minding my own business. A woman “of a certain age” got on holding several Bergdorf Goodman shopping bags. She planted herself right in front of me and asked me to give her my seat. I looked up from my book and said, “Lady if you can afford to shop at Bergdorf’s, you can afford to take a cab.”

The Imaginary Workout
Attention gym rats! Talking on your cell phone while sitting on the leg press machine is not working out. You actually have to use the equipment!

And while we’re at the gym, wipe off the equipment after you sweat all over it. I don’t know you well enough to exchange bodily fluids.

Good Reads
I love to read. I enjoy everything from literary fiction to humor, from graphic novels to mysteries--with a lot of self-help/motivational non-fiction in between.

If you want to feed your book habit (definitely one of the healthier ones) and don’t want to spend a gazillion dollars on books you’re only going to read once, check out the Book Cellar at the Webster Branch of the New York Public Library (78^th and York Avenue). It’s one of my favorite places to hang out and spend money for a good cause.

Mass market paperbacks are $1, trade paperbacks are $2, and hardcover books vary in price. And they have a huge selection of wonderful books—fiction, biographies, art, history, self-help, humor, classics, etc. Plus you can donate your used books for a tax write-off. A word of caution, don’t buy back your own books--I’ve done that more then once!

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown

"Most cartoon drawing is about distraction: popular masters like Walt Kelly and Al Capp crowded their panels with characters and activity; Pogo and Li'l Abner are dense with what actors call 'business.' Peanuts, full of empty spaces, didn't depend on action or a particular context to attract the reader; it was about people working out the interior problems of their daily lives without ever actually solving them. The absence of a solution was the center of the story.

"The American assumption was that children were happy, and childhood was a golden time; it was adults who had problems with which they wrestled and pains that they sought to smooth. Schulz reversed the natural order of things by showing that a child's pain is more intensely felt than an adult's, a child's defeats the more acutely experienced and remembered. Charlie Brown takes repeated insults from Violet and Patty about the size of his head, which they compare with a beach ball, a globe, a pie tin, the moon, a balloon; and though Charlie Brown may feel sorry for himself, he gets over it fast. But he does not get visibly angry.

‘Would you like to have been Abraham Lincoln?' Patty asks Charlie Brown. 'I doubt it,' he answers. 'I have a hard enough time being just plain Charlie Brown.'

"Children are not supposed to be radically dissatisfied. When they are unhappy, children protest--they wail, they whine, they scream, they cry--then they move on. Schulz gave these children lifelong dissatisfactions, the stuff of which adulthood is made.

"Readers recognized themselves in 'poor, moon- faced, unloved, misunderstood' Charlie Brown--in his dignity in the face of whole seasons of doomed baseball games, his endurance and stoicism in the face of insults. He reminded people, as no other cartoon character had, of what it was to be vulnerable, to be small and alone in the universe, to be human--both little and big at the same time."--David Michaelis, Schulz and Peanuts, Harper Collins

So True
“Don’t Dwell on Unwinnable Conflicts. Move on. The problems you spend your time and energy on should be both important and improvable. Otherwise, you are better off moving on to things you can change.”

--Source Unknown

“The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1807-1882, American Poet

October 30, 2007

Manhattan Doll
Volume I, Issue 2

Been there, Done That
I received an email last week from another (that would be #3) old high school boyfriend. I hadn’t seen him—or thought of him--since 1964. A couple of years ago, a bunch of Long Beach High School alumni went to see Billy Crystal (my best friend since kindergarten) in “700 Sundays.” Marty and I chatted briefly during intermission, and I haven’t thought of him since.

Marty was trawling Classmates.com, happened upon my profile, remembered I looked good, and decided to email me to ask me out for a drink or dinner.

I shared the story with my hairdresser (who had been through old boyfriends #1 and #2 with me ). His advice,” Tell him, ‘Been there, done that. Have the tee-shirt and the hat.’”

Parking Rules

When friends with cars come to visit me in Manhattan, they always ask, "What are the parking rules in your neighborhood?"

How do I know? I walk, ride buses, take the subway, or grab a cab. Parking rules do not impact my life, I don't care, and, therefore I do not keep track of them. That's why we have a gazillion garages in Manhattan!

Gardens in Transit

Have you noticed the psychedelic cabs driving around the city? Suddenly I felt like I was back in the 1960s, without the mini dress and the white Go-Go boots. I literally found the answer in the back seat of a cab.

The project is called Garden in Transit, which runs from September-December 2007. As part of this art, education and creative therapy project, 23,000 children in schools and hospitals--in addition to many adult volunteers--have painted 80,000 flowers on 750,000 square feet of adhesive panels for a four-month public art exhibition featured on taxis citywide. Click on http://www.portraitsofhope.org/git/about_git.php for more information.

Positive Psychology

I recently took a ½ day seminar with Shawn Achor, a professor from Harvard who focuses on Positive Psychology.

I emailed Shawn and asked him, “Why don't we do the things we know we "should" do to make ourselves happier, healthier, etc.??”

Here's Shawn's response: In answer to your question, the research I gave about how to raise our happiness baseline—daily gratitudes and journaling, habit grids, exercise, meditation, simplifying--are all things that we are physically capable of--so it is not a question of "can't" but rather "won't."

I have seen quadriplegics who are grateful, people dying with AIDS being grateful still, abused children who remain positive, etc. The reason this is possible is that gratitude is a subjective construal of reality, rather than based upon objective constraints. So I think the first step is self-awareness and insight about why we are preventing ourselves from doing these actions. One thing the Buddha reportedly said, which I like, is not to believe what he suggests just because he is the Buddha, but rather to try it out, experiment, and then decide what is true and what is false.

I think the best way to test these things is just to try them. They are physically easy and only take less than 5 minutes (except exercise). Picking 1 and sticking with it regardless of lack of benefits for 21 days, even if the activity was useless, is still quite useful, as it increases self-esteem by recognizing that we are capable of making sustained changes.

So I would suggest starting small so that the initial energy required is low. Maybe thinking of 1 new thing to be grateful for each day, or writing in a journal for 3-5 minutes or for 3-5 sentences, or watching your breath for 1 minute a day. Then scan your life for small, sometimes imperceptible changes, which might grow.

Finally, I think we stop because we are hoping to "find happiness" which may seem to daunting when we are not happy. But happiness is also part of the beta press, which means that you can never "find" happiness. Happiness is created. It is created by changing the lens through which you view reality. The baseline changes I suggested are ways to change the shape of that lens.

Good Advice

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."--Mark Twain

"The art of life is finding a balance between planning for the future and standing still to see what life brings us today. By experiencing the moment, while keeping clear intentions of what we want for the future, we live life to its fullest."—Source Unknown

Quote

"I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn kids, Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘there is no i in team.' What you should tell them is, maybe not. But there is an i in independence, individuality, and integrity."--George Carlin

October 23, 2007

Manhattan Doll
Volume 1, Issue 1

Film Reviews

Toots: Wonderful portrayal of a man (Toots Shor), his times (1950s-1970s), and his city (New York). I remember going to Toots Shor’s restaurant on a date as a teenager and ordering a jumbo shrimp cocktail. I can still remember how cold and tasty the shrimp were.

Elizabeth, The Golden Age: I’m fascinated by Elizabeth I and thoroughly enjoyed the first Cate Blanchett movie. However, the sequel was more tin than gold. Although I could watch Clive Owens for hours!

Commuting Curmudgeon

4 Reasons Why I hate the 86^th Street Crosstown Bus.

1. Why do parents and their kids always sit in the seats reserved the achy, cranky, and tired—like me!

2. Put your make-up on before you leave the house! I wonder how many people have been stabbed by a mascara wand?

3. Going from York Avenue to 12^th Avenue is not like crossing the Sahara. Why do you need to bring your coffee on the bus—the better to spill it on your fellow passengers? And, if you are going to bring a beverage, at least bring enough for all of us.

4. Ditto for you MacMuffin munchers!

Quotes

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast--Source Unknown

“Red-Ink Behaviors: Behaviors that create cultures of disrespect—arrogance,
intimidation, perfectionism, victimization, non-team attitudes, micromanagement,
and ‘triangular games.”  

Nontreprenuer: An executive who demands growth from his team, but is
afraid of taking risks.

Both quotes compliments of Jargon du Jour

Graduate School (without the GREs, GPAs, term papers, and stress!)

I recently attended One-Day University (http://onedayu.com/). For $200, you get 4 lectures from award winning professors from top-tier schools. It’s an Ivy League education condensed into one day--a wonderful way to exercise your brain. I enjoyed it so much, I signed up for the November and December sessions before I left. You may not be interested in all the topics, but each one is only 70 minutes. And if you really hate it, you can always go out for a cup of coffee (breakfast and box lunch included).

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me A Match

Realizing that the kind of man I want to date is not trolling on-line dating sites like jdate and match.com, I took the plunge and signed up with a matchmaking service. I liked the fact that they’ve been in business for over 30 years and combine a 90-minute personal interview with compatibility tests and, most importantly for me (having been burned by a high school sweetheart who turned out to be a liar and a thief) a national background check. The membership fee is good for my lifetime (hopefully, it won’t take that long).

After the background check, I go to their offices for my picture and video. Then the fun begins. I’ll keep you posted on my dating adventures.